I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize