wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize