After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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