There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
we should paint friendship bongs
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
