I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
