I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
