Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
