At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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