i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
