she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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