babies were throwing up all over the place
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
