Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
