i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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