As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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