They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Randomize
