Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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