We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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