As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Sext me about skeletons
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
