Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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