forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
