I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
