Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
