dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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