I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
