He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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