I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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