The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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