I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Randomize
