ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
