new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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