I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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