I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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