You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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