Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I need to sanitize my soul.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize