How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
