I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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