Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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