i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
