we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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