I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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