you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
