I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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