the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
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it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
We had sex on a dog bed..
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I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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