Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
