so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
