I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
