I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
COCAINE IS GR8
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