I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize