Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
