oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I don't want my vagina anymore.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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