I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
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