If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
