PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
