He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize