I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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