At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
They took my balls.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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