I'm really into asian looking animals
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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