YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
