do herpes really smell.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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