I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
