So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
